Please stop breaking my heart

Why on Earth would you hurt me so bad? What did I do to you? All I did was... To love you. God knows I did... I loved you like crazy. To the point that I would defend you from your own friends. To the point that I even put your family before mine. I was blind cuz I never saw what was going on behind the scene. But how would I have guessed? How?! If I thought I fell in love with my best friend from the MBA. Why didn't you warn me that you were gonna break my heart? Why did you ask me to marry you? Please tell me why... Please stop with the lies and stop telling me you love me... Because obviously you have no idea of what love means. I wish I could turn back time and just stayed friends. I wish I had never ever fallen in love with you. I wish you the best in your life, I really do... Because I want to believe, I NEED TO BELIEVE that you are not a bad person... And that all that harm and pain you caused me occurred due to a mental illness of you. I will miss your laugh and kindness when you were in a good mood. I won't miss your screams, angerness, cursing and bad attitude when you were in a bad mood. I won't miss all the times you hurt me and broke my heart. I won't miss those fights when you were mean to me. Why did this happen to us? Why did we have to meet in New Paltz? In the middle of nowhere. Oh God... Please help me to get over this. I need you God, please give me strength and patience. Please take care of him and help him become a better person. Bless him and his family. And please do the same with me and mine. We really need you God.